Sunday, December 18, 2011

death of my blog

Blogger murdered my blog.

All because I commented too many times and they thought I was spamming. I was doing a holiday blog hop who I'm not going to name because it wasn't their fault. They had 22 blogs on their hop and because I didn't have anything to do I sat down and one after another I went from blog to blog and wrote on each one.

I am mad, distraught, hurt, sad, angry and dismayed.

The saddest part is that I loved my blog. I loved seeing a new follower. I loved reading a comment from someone who thought what I wrote was worthy. It was a diary of sorts, my journal. I feel like someone took my diary and burned it...up in flames...
down the drain....
threw it away....

I know I am mediocre, I'm not a brilliant star flashing through any one's life....I am me. Just plain old me. A 52 year old woman trying to overcome life's ups and downs.
Losing her home.
Losing her husband.
Losing her family.
Losing her youth.
her looks.
her life.
her mind.
her eye sight.
and today, my blog along with my sense of humor.

What's worse, is that like a battered woman, I have returned to the same entity that has hurt me. For the fear of the unknown seems worse than striking out and learning how to be on my own. I, with head hanging down, have returned to Blogger because it's something I know....but at least I don't trust it. Like a man that has cheated on you, you may forgive him, but you don't forget.


image queen said...

I think the hardest thing is to know what you have faced is very hard and yes life is not fair. You cannot have a do over again. All that leaves you is yourself and what you want your life to be from this second onwards to a minute and then an hour. I always want to plan for the future but too many things get in the way. I am a more by the take it by a day kind of girl and that has helped with my anxiety. I make no commitments and find I cope much better with life.
Here's hoping you find that inner peace which is a rare gift indeed.
Jean Thomson

Pat N. said...

OMG Sandee! That's awful. I can't believe just because you were blog hopping, that would happen. I'm not sure I really understand. Did Blogger send a messsage to you or something. Is your blog gone? Deleted? I would be terribly upset; like you said, it's like your diary was just burned. For me, it would be a year of history lost. I'm so sorry for you. Guess it's good that you had this one in place to fall back on.--Pat

Kalea Wavedancer said...

If I was there, I would beat you. You are so far past utterly and completely awesome, and it provokes great umbridge that you berate yourself in this manner. Who wants to be a star anyway--it's a ball of gas. Really, love, this is what you want? No, no, unacceptable. Come join me in my mermaid world and make the stars jealous.