Christmas tree link up party

Still feeling rough this morning, I actually stayed up all night thinking of all the bad things that have happened to me the last 2 years. Changes aren't always that bad, but I'm tired of them being forced onto me....

Well after such a dramatic last night it will be a pleasure to visit some blogs ( although only a couple at a time so Blogger won't take away this blog too! ).....oh well, you would think by now that I would be use to starting over! I guess it never gets easier...nothing in my life ever seems to. Any whoo...Docerela Creations is having a Christmas tree link up party and this will be my first link up on my new blog. And speaking of starting over, this is the first time I have had my tree up in 2 years. This is the third Christmas after my divorce and the first one that I am in my own space. It felt strange opening the boxes of ornaments, like I didn't know them anymore! Some ornaments I had to pack away in another box because they reminded me too much of my ex husband or they were ornaments that I had purchased for his boys. So I'm still trying to sort that life from my new 'starting over' life!

death of my blog

Blogger murdered my blog.

All because I commented too many times and they thought I was spamming. I was doing a holiday blog hop who I'm not going to name because it wasn't their fault. They had 22 blogs on their hop and because I didn't have anything to do I sat down and one after another I went from blog to blog and wrote on each one.

I am mad, distraught, hurt, sad, angry and dismayed.

The saddest part is that I loved my blog. I loved seeing a new follower. I loved reading a comment from someone who thought what I wrote was worthy. It was a diary of sorts, my journal. I feel like someone took my diary and burned it...up in flames...

down the drain....

threw it away....

I know I am mediocre, I'm not a brilliant star flashing through any one's life....I am me. Just plain old me. A 52 year old woman trying to overcome life's ups and downs.

Losing her home.

Losing her husband.

Losing her family.

Losing her youth.

her looks.

her life.

her mind.

her eye sight.

and today, my blog along with my sense of humor.

What's worse, is that like a battered woman, I have returned to the same entity that has hurt me. For the fear of the unknown seems worse than striking out and learning how to be on my own. I, with head hanging down, have returned to Blogger because it's something I know....but at least I don't trust it. Like a man that has cheated on you, you may forgive him, but you don't forget.